Support me = Respect my choices
I mentioned to someone yesterday that I was running a fever - have been for a bit over two weeks now, courtesy of this cold I have (which has lasted so long courtesy of this Chronic Fatigue Syndrome that I have!). And he asked if I had taken panadol for it.
Simple question, simple suggestion, simple solution!
So how can I quickly explain that I don’t ‘do’ drugs just to relieve discomfort? The conversation then went little like this:
Me: This would be just the start, then where do I draw the line? I simply choose not to fill my body with drugs.
Him: It’s just panadol, to reduce a fever - no big deal.
Me: But where does it end? If I take a drug for every symptom (I didn’t say, but I should have said - I take panadol for the fever and for the muscle aches, and then something else for the nausea, and something else for the lightheadedness, and something else to help me sleep, etc, etc…) after a while I don’t know what’s illness and what is side effect.
Him: But that is an extreme - you have gone to the other extreme - you’ve cleared all the drugs out of your system through the detoxes - you could afford to put a few drugs back into your system.
Me: But at what effect to my body? They don’t even know how panadol works.
Him: Drugs are just chemicals - our bodies are just chemicals. [I understood the implication of this to mean - it won’t cause you any harm]
Me: I just choose not to go down that path.
But I know that it sounded really lame.
How do I explain that I don’t want to do something, when my reasons are based on the combination of many different things. That I won’t do something just because “everyone” else does it. That in a lot of ways me choosing to not take a drug to reduce a fever is symbolic of me not subscribing to the mind-numbing herd-mentality of the world.
And why should I have to justify myself, anyway? Why should I have to continually argue my position with people who seem determined to make me conform to their way of doing things (even if “their” way carries extra weight by also being the way of the general western population? - ie. go to the doctor and get a drug to fix the problem)?
I don’t want to have to continually earn and re-earn the “permission” to be able to look after my own body in the way that I believe is best for me (a position gained only after many hours of research and prayer). What I really want is support.
“Please support me! You don’t have to agree with me, but support me by respecting my choice. Stop trying to convince me to change.”
I don’t need people to understand me, and I certainly don’t need people to agree with me, but I do want people to respect my decisions.
However, if someone wants to be able to input into my life, to offer counsel, then they do need to first understand me.
So, if someone wants to understand my reasons, then they are more than welcome to take the time to find out. But they mustn’t let their sole motive be to be able to convince me to change my mind and take on their point of view. Their motive should be, to be better able to support me. And be warned, it will take a lot of time, because it has taken me a long time to come to this position (and I am not sure that I would even be able to sit down and explain from start to finish what my reasons are - it would take time and effort to tease it out).
Be aware that the end result is not that we both agree, but just that they understand me. Once I am confident that they understand me, then I will be more likely to invite them to share their opinion, because I know that it will be given in the context of understanding my position.
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